In 2018, I began my midwifery training and simultaneously joined the Maternity team. This was a tremendous opportunity, as I learned a great deal from my assistant colleagues and doctors during my work. After obtaining my diploma, I applied my midwifery knowledge in an assistant role.
In 2019, I met my future husband, and in 2022, after our wedding, we felt that our lives would be even more complete with a child. In April 2023, I had a feeling and took a pregnancy test after work, which came back strongly positive. I was both incredibly happy and scared at the same time, as anything can happen during a pregnancy. Pushing aside the negative thoughts, I hurried home to my husband, who was also overjoyed by the news. Shortly after, Dr. Gérecz confirmed the pregnancy, and everything looked fine on the ultrasound. It was clear to me that I wanted him as my doctor since I had assisted him from the very beginning and trusted him completely both personally and professionally.
When I was asked to write down my birth story, I immediately thought I would leave out the background details. However, I know that sharing this might provide comfort to other families who have gone through similar experiences.
We spent the Pentecost long weekend with friends, and I had a strange feeling during that time. I didn’t pay much attention to it but mentioned to my husband on the way home that something didn’t seem right. He tried to reassure me as much as he could. After that, nearly a week passed, and at the end of a work day, I asked Dr. Gérecz to check on my pregnancy. Unfortunately, my bad feeling was confirmed. I didn’t need him to say anything; I could see on the ultrasound that there was no heartbeat. At that moment, I fell apart and just cried. I kept asking myself why this happened to us, what I did wrong, since I had been careful about everything. I remember calling my mom first because I didn’t know what to tell my husband. When I gathered myself, I spoke to him as well. I wouldn’t wish that feeling or those words on anyone, when I tearfully told him, “Hi! Come in, because there is no heartbeat!” He came immediately and stayed with me throughout the entire time at the clinic. He supported me and we supported each other. The colleagues were also a tremendous help, handling the situation discreetly but still trying to provide emotional support even after the surgery. I would like to thank them once again.
The following weeks were very difficult. As I returned to work, I felt sadness every time I encountered pregnancy confirmations or prenatal care appointments. Despite this, I was still able to share in the joy with the families and hoped that everything would turn out well for them. I trusted that my husband and I would one day experience this feeling ourselves. I worked extensively on both my physical and emotional well-being, knowing that this was the only way to move forward from what had happened. I aimed to approach it with a fresh start and without anxiety when we felt it was the right time to try again.
In early October 2023, one morning my husband told me he had dreamed that I was pregnant. I smiled at this, as he doesn’t usually have such dreams—or at least he had never mentioned it before. I thought I wouldn’t take a test yet because it didn’t feel like the right time. However, the thought wouldn’t leave my mind, so a week later, I took a test. It was positive. I ran to the kitchen in tears and told my husband that I was pregnant and that I felt it was a boy. He was a bit startled by the news and gently suggested that we should wait for the ultrasound. Of course, we went together for the first ultrasound, where I waited anxiously and fearfully to hear the heartbeat. Fortunately, everything was fine. Next came the genetic ultrasound, which I approached with dread, as I had considered every possible scenario. My husband then remarked that it was partly a curse to be a professional in this field.
Those who have had a genetic ultrasound know how crucial it is for the examining doctor to see every detail. Dr. Zorán Belics conducted the examination and asked us to take a walk because he wanted to take a closer look at something. Needless to say, as soon as I closed the door behind me, I threw myself into my husband’s arms and cried. Pages from Professor Papp’s textbook flashed through my mind, particularly the genetic chapter with all the possible scenarios. Of course, my husband tried to reassure me, as did Dr. Belics once he had examined everything thoroughly.
When we passed the 12-week mark and the genetic screening results were negative, I felt an immense sense of calm. I wasn’t anxious or plagued by stray thoughts. I simply enjoyed the miracle that was finally happening to us. As the pregnancy progressed, my back and lower back began to hurt a lot, and I often felt that Olivér wasn’t moving in my belly as he should. Once, he even frightened me, and that was the only time we went in for a quick CTG and ultrasound. Fortunately, everything was fine then too.
The days passed, and I didn’t feel any Braxton Hicks contractions or any signs that I would be giving birth soon. I tried everything—walking a lot, drinking raspberry leaf tea, climbing stairs—but nothing worked. By the 38th week, I walked into the clinic determined to give birth that day. Of course, I knew it wasn’t a wish-granting service. We talked extensively with Dr. Belics and Margó, my midwife. Eventually, I admitted that while I had wanted a natural birth, I was also very scared. I knew, as did the doctor and my husband, that I was capable of handling anything, but my lack of confidence sometimes took over, which wasn’t helpful during labor. There’s no room for “I can’t do this” or “I don’t know if I can do this” during childbirth. So, we agreed that I would have a cesarean section in the 39th week. The date was set for June 5th, much to my husband’s delight, as the number 5 is his lucky number.
The big day arrived. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep at all the night before. I replayed the details of the cesarean section countless times in my mind. I packed and repacked the hospital bag repeatedly to ensure I had everything I needed. My husband could probably tell you all about that. I have to admit that I was most afraid of the anesthesia, but I also knew that no matter who would administer it, everything would be fine because everyone was a professional.
We agreed with the doctor to meet in the operating room at 7:30. I was still very nervous because this time I wouldn’t be observing from the outside; I would be lying on the operating table. The anesthesia was administered, and it didn’t hurt at all; I thought from that point on, everything would be a piece of cake. Suddenly, I heard that we could begin. I was scared. Meanwhile, the doctor and Gyöngyike kept communicating with me, which was a huge help. Things moved quickly, and at 7:57, Olivér was born. It was a wonderful moment, and I’ll never forget the first time I saw and kissed him. My husband was overjoyed but also worried about me since he had to leave me in the operating room. After that, I waited to join them.
After they brought me to the room, it was an incredible feeling to have the miracle we had waited for so long finally with us. The time to get up approached, and I had mentally prepared myself for it. To be honest, the first 20 minutes of walking after the surgery, with Margó’s help, were the most painful of my life. But I knew that the sooner I started moving and the more I did, the faster I would recover. Fortunately, everything was fine with Olivér and with me, so we were discharged after two days. Now, Olivér is already 3 months old and developing beautifully. We couldn’t have wished for a calmer and more delightful child!
Thank you to the clinic and the team for making Olivér’s birth such a wonderful experience!
Vivien Dankuli